Unrequited Love
by niennavalier
Summary: In which Valon regrets his actions and reaches some tragic conclusions when it comes to romance. Interlude that takes place during my other fic, Reminiscing the Past. *Now also includes various oneshots related to the aforementioned verse.*
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I was bored and felt like writing angst. So have a short aside/introspective thing from Valon's POV.**

 **Set in my _Reminiscing the Past_ 'verse, shortly after Chapter 5 of my main story.**

* * *

What the bloody hell had he been thinking? Of course she hadn't been interested in him! Yeah, she'd been nice to him and seemed to generally enjoy his company, but it wasn't like that was gonna necessarily mean anything. Nice wasn't the same as love, and he shoulda known better.

He took a deep breath, smelling the salt of the ocean, the way the air was just so clean out on the balcony, watching the patches of red fade over the horizon as the sun rose steadily higher into the sky. There was a reason he'd liked this safe house so much more than all the other ones, basically claimed it as his, nevermind how ridiculous Alister thought that was. Yeah, it was real close to the Paradius building, but it didn't feel like it. It felt free and open, not like he was boxed in somewhere; he'd had more than enough of that in his entire life. This place made him feel good, feel right. And he'd thought that maybe that meant something in this case.

Of course it hadn't.

Yeah, she'd opened up to him, telling him about her past, despite how much it had clearly hurt to remember. Yeah, it'd seemed like she was on the edge of remembering everything about their shared history. But still, why- _why_ had he had to act like some blundering idiot, doing what he'd done? Why did he have to go and ruin this too?

He dropped his head, his breath shaking on its way out. Because, well, he _did_ know why.

Because, maybe, he'd thought that he could push a little, be the one to make her remember. Maybe, he'd hoped that, after everything, she'd started to like him the way he did her. And, maybe, some small part of him had believed he wouldn't have to be alone anymore.

Of course not. Of course that wasn't the case.

As much as she'd seemed to have gotten over everything that'd happened in Paris, he shoulda known she wouldn't just be over her old boyfriend just 'cause he'd shown up all of a sudden. He was probably everything Valon wasn't anyway! He had to be smart to be at that fancy university Taylor was at. And loyal and kind and supportive and _whole_ and not some scrappy orphan off the streets. He was probably pretty bloody attractive, too, for that matter. And what did Valon have on all that?

He clenched and unclenched his fists on the railing, feeling the prickle of tears at the corner of his eyes and pushing them back because _no, he wasn't about to let himself cry like some sheila, not here, not now, that wasn't gonna happen._ What would Alister say if he were here? Something about how ridiculous Valon was being and to grow up for once; she was just some girl. And the Australian felt a bitter, broken half-laugh-half-sob break through his lips because _she's not just some girl, Alister!_ He laid his forehead fully on the banister, closing his eyes, squeezing them shut, ignoring the way they stung. _She's not just some girl._

At some point, his knees gave out, and he sank to the ground, turning so his back was against the barrier. He pulled his knees up into his chest, hiding his face in that tiny bit of space, feeling small, so small, even smaller than he'd ever felt when he was a kid. It'd been a long time since he'd ever felt like this; he hadn't felt like this when it came to Mai and her constant rejection of him. There was just something different about this, something about _her_ that made rejection hurt that much more. Made it hurt to know that he couldn't be that person that she wanted the same way he wanted her.

And it sucked that he knew exactly why, too.

He looked up, wiping away the wetness from his eyes with the palms of his hands because _no, he wasn't crying, dammit! He wasn't!_ The light from the rising sun was seeping into the room, and he could see her sleeping outline on the far bed, though he didn't need a closer look to know the details of how she looked there. He'd seen her when he'd woken up, too troubled to sleep, and he'd stepped out because he couldn't stand the twisting longing welling up inside his chest. But his mind had already committed the details to memory: the way her features were so relaxed, devoid of her tense look of concentration; the way she was curled up protectively on her side; the occasional, slight snore. He already figured she wouldn't be up for another good while, knew from experience that she wasn't a morning person, thinking back to that time she had stumbled blearily down the stairs the morning of one of their missions. She'd earned a sarcastic remark from Alister and returned her own, equally irritably. Raph had shaken his head and Alister had rolled his eyes, but Valon had laughed, not at her predicament, but…okay, well, kinda at her. But not out of spite, and not the way he would've laughed had it been Gurimo or one of the fellas falling down the stairs with some crazy bedhead.

That'd made him start to think of something he vaguely remembered hearing Mother Mary telling one of the older kids, something about loving a person not _despite_ their faults, but _for_ them. Valon had thought it was ridiculous at the time, but now – now it made sense. It didn't matter to him that she wasn't perfect; he liked that she wasn't. That was how he knew he was really in love this time.

He was really in love this time. With someone who wasn't ever gonna love him back because he would never be enough for her.

And that made the tears run anew, hot and salty, as he buried his head again, trying in vain to bite back another sob. His breath came in ragged bursts and _he hates how he sounds and hates even more how he must look but there isn't anything he can do about it and he just wants to disappear._ Pretend like none of this is happening at all and everything is still okay and his world isn't falling apart at his feet. That's all he wants, and _is it too much to ask? Is it?_

In a sudden movement, he pushed to his feet with a growl, swiping his fists across his eyes and cheeks, storming back into the room, grabbing his armor, and rushing down the stairs. She wasn't gonna want to see him when she woke up, not after what he'd done. And he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to take seeing her without feeling everything crumble all over. He'd need time for everything to mend again, and he couldn't do that with her around.

Pretty soon, he was feeling his motorcycle purring beneath him, and frigid air freezing his arms as it rushed by. Maybe…maybe he could try again with Mai. She hadn't shown him much interest in him before, but…well…maybe there was still some way to get through to her. He would try, at least.

Because he needed someone in his life who wouldn't shoot through at the first chance. He'd already been alone for most of his life, and he couldn't leave that be. Not anymore.

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 **AN: So, I'm thinking of expanding this 'verse and giving it a sequel. Thoughts? Cause I'd love to hear 'em!**


	2. Chapter 2

Winter Break, Mini Marshmallows, and Chocolate Flavored Kisses

"'ow d'you do it? I swear, you're like Wonder Woman, or somethin'."

"Do what, exactly, Valon?" Taylor asked, not bothering to peer over the top of her book. Winter Break had just started, and she was taking time to relax her brain. Finals had been a pain in the ass, and there was a mighty need for some couch potato time, curled up with a good book, even if the testy Australian hadn't been a big fan of that. Or, he hadn't at first.

"Sit there like it's not zero degrees outside!"

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Celsius, Fahrenheit, or Kelvin?"

"Does it matter? It's freezin'!"

"Technically, it does, but," she finally glanced up, setting down the book, only to burst out laughing. She'd vaguely seen Valon carrying a large bundle of something to the couch when he'd come to join her. What she hadn't known was that bundle was a literal mountain of blankets.

Which were now cocooning her boyfriend, covering every inch of him from chin down to toes.

"'ey, what're you laughin' at?!"

"You look ridiculous, that's what!"

"Like I said, it's cold!"

"Oh come on. It's France in the winter. What else did you expect?"

"You ta go ta school…I dunno, anywhere else?"

"Because I hear Siberia sounds real nice this time of year," she replied, deadpan.

"Haha, very funny."

"I know. I try." She smiled at him, apparently kindly, though there was no mistaking the mischievous light in her eye. "What, want someone to cuddle with you?"

"Not you. 's 'cause o' you I'm cold."

"Oh come on, you big crybaby. You'll get used to it."

"'ey! 'm not a baby!"

"Need I remind you I spent half of my life, like, a couple blocks away from the Church where _you_ grew up? And look, I lived."

"…'m not talkin' ta you." At that, the brown mess of hair disappeared beneath the crumple of blankets, and she snickered, retrieving her book again, resuming her reading. Valon had never really been the solitary type (save if he was _really_ pissed, but this was hardly the case), always preferring the company of other people to the silence (although Alister might argue he just liked annoying everyone around him).

Taylor just smiled to herself as she flipped a page. She wondered just how long this silent treatment would last.

"'ey, Taylor?"

"Valon?"

"'m sorry. I didn' mean ta blow up at ya like that. 'm just bored. 'n' cold."

"Yeah, I can see as much." She threw the book onto the coffee table, laying out on her stomach so her face was right up near his. "You know there's instant hot chocolate right there in the kitchen right?"

"'ey, Taylor…?"

"Fine, I'll get you some. If you pull yourself out of your blanket fort enough to feed yourself. I'm not feeding you."

"C'mon love…"

"Or I can just get one for myself."

"…Fine."

"Good." And she bounded off, sliding in her socks across the linoleum. A couple minutes later, and she luxuriously topped both cups off with whipped cream, glad she'd had the forethought to buy it during her last trip for groceries, poor college student or not.

It was whipped cream. It was worth it.

Lowering back down onto the couch, she handed one of the cups off to Valon, entertained as he grabbed at it greedily, gulping it down, gasping at how it burned.

She laughed, sipping at her own drink and licking at the whipped cream as Valon attempted to fan at his tongue with his hand. "You know, it's called _hot_ chocolate for a reason."

"…Shut up, you."

"Not likely."

"Get me some o' them mini marshmallows and I'll forgive ya. Cocoa ain't cocoa without 'em."

"We're out, and I checked."

"Why didn't you get 'em?"

"Why don't you ask our grocery bill?" So what the whipped cream had been an indulgence? What was the saying? All things in moderation? So even indulgence in moderation. They weren't exactly wealthy, after all, so certain non-essentials had to go.

In her defense, she had been the one shopping that time; therefore, it was her right to choose. Whipped cream over marshmallows. Easy.

"Yeah, but… they're jus' marshmallows, love. Can' be tha' expensive."

"And this is why I don't let you do the shopping alone. But," she grinned, taking a cautious sip of her drink, "next time. I promise."

"Knew you weren' tha' much of a buzzkill."

"Hey!"

"Wha? 's the truth. Was more fun when I jus' got ta spray soda all over and make Gurimo clean it up."

Taylor did laugh at that – wasn't hard to admit that that _had_ been pretty fun. "Problem is Gurimo doesn't live with us anymore. And thank god for that." She sighed melodramatically. Although, truth be told, there was nothing overdramatic about how glad she was that their situation was as it was – no Gurimo in sight.

Valon just laughed at her bravado. "Yeah. The ol' geezer'd hate th' both o' us."

"He already hated you." She gave pause. "Y'know, nevermind, he probably hated me, too, just on principle. _That's_ buzzkill for you. So don't go accusing me."

"Wouldn' want you turnin' into 'im, huh?" He flashed an accusatory look at her which… _oh,_ no, he wouldn't dare ever compare her to Gurimo.

"Hey! Not my fault adult-ing's no fun!" Because, for real, jobs and paying for actual stuff to live on was _not_ very exciting. She was really just glad that the safehouse and all its utilities had been taken care of in their entirety prior to them claiming it as theirs. Still didn't really know how Dartz had managed that, but she wasn't complaining. "You know what? Fine." She glanced over at Valon, smug. "You want marshmallows, we can go right now." It was Winter Break. Finances could be damned (if only for the time being).

She swore, Valon's eyes actually bugged out of his head. "You tryin' ta kill me, mate? I don' wanna freeze!"

To that, she just shrugged, finished off more of her hot chocolate. "Just making a suggestion. 'Cause, y'know, probably won't be a lot of people around the supermarket right now. Holiday times and whatever." Here, she raised an eyebrow, mischievous. "Could totally go cartsurfing down the empty aisles."

Valon actually cackled at that. "Knew I loved ya for a reason," he affirmed, climbing out of his blanket fort to seal their lips in a quick, chocolate flavored kiss.

Growing older, having responsibilities – they couldn't really avoid that. Growing up, though? Well, nothing mandatory about that.

AN: Hi guys! Sorry for disappearing for an eternity there, but I rediscovered this oneshot in my documents and figured I'd post it. And now some updates regarding this 'verse: in terms of the sequel, whether it happens or not is very much on the fence. I've been doing some character development of my OCs (Taylor and another someone related to this story) and there's a good chance they actually get spun off into an original story of their own, based pretty much on RtP and its planned sequel. These oneshots might still happen anyway, though, and I might intro said other OC into some of them, but without too much exposition of plot. I don't entirely know yet. If anyone has any opinions on this front, I'll gladly hear them! I'm definitely open to suggestions :)


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